The last day of retreat, I was very much aware of the stirring in my heart with regard to tilling my soil and planting. I couldn't wait to get home to begin dreaming in earnest. God was relentless as he inspired ideas as to location, resources etc...I could feel parts of myself resurrecting from the dead.
Then I got home.
Family life...laundry, bills, work, other details landed in front of me as soon as I walked in the door. I immediately felt the enthusiasm for gardening disappating....how could I possibly add one more thing to my list of responsibilites? Why would I want to till up a space in my yard on purpose and create that kind of mess. What if I didn't remain faithful to caring for it? What if I let the weeds come in and take over? What if it turned out to just be another burden among burdens? Oh....believe me, the desolation was thick and dark.
Thankfully, God loves me too much to leave me without help for long....St. Ignatius came to my aid. I knew enough to realize that I was being tempted to move from Consolation into Desolation. And what do we do when the bad spirit is trying to move us away from the Good Spirit? Yes...you know......RESIST!!!!!!!!!
At that point, I knew the dirt had to be tilled. I must garden. It was no longer a nice idea. It was (and still is) the difference between me being with God or.......not.
Sadly, my strength was waining. But in a beautiful turn of events, that very evening I encountered a professional Gardening Coach from Phoenix, AZ. http://thedesertgarden.com
In a personal, particular, and relational way, God seems to have arranged for me a friendly and keenly knowledgeable guide. Words can hardly express my gratitude.
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